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I have had a boyfriend for almost 3 years. I do love him, and like the idea of eventually getting married, (I am a widow and he is divoreced). He says he is not in love with me and does not know if he will ever want to get married again. I recently started talking to someone I use to date, ( we are friends) but never realized how I would feel about talking and seeing him again. It feels like love,( I am starting to wonder what if ), but I don't want to let him know. I am very confused about the whole thing.

I feel the same way, at this very moment. It's something only a person going through can truly describe. I fell in love with a man, while later on falling for a guy I hardly knew. I wish I knew why, but some things are complicated. Life is never simple, but the later of the men I love knows how I love the other....I don't understand how he stands it. While the other would be furious, which I understand completely. Love is something undeterminable, but so widespread that we may feel some feelings for others that maybe really uncontrollable and wonderful. I still can't understand why I feel these feelings for two separate people. Growing up I always was always was raised to love one....but the strong thoughts and love for another make me believe there are different situations some may never end up understanding or realizing why we will ever feel this way. Morals we are taught are always being fought by some unseen aparatus. I wish hopefully that I will understand these thoughts, and feelings while I try to love only one, I will always have the other in my head....and in my heart<3

yes I do think you can be in love with more than one person I know I am and I did have to chose and between my boyfriend of 6 years and A boy that was a boyfriend in the past for 1 year I chose the one I had been with the longest but I still look at his profile to see how he is but I don't talk to him I never quit loving him but I know I can only be with one cause it wouldn't be fare to no one to be cheated on I wouldn't want to be cheated on.

Well, i think you can. I have a boyfriend and i think i might have feelings for someelse, but i dont think its nothing strong. Me and my boyfriend have been going forr agess and i wouldnt do anythink to hurt himm :)
I have spoken to my best mate about this and she said im getting muddle upp in my feelings if i like this other boy or if i just thinkk hes really good looking ! :P
x

so i am in love with more than 1 guy, he doesnt like it he thinks that there should be only one not 5. Im not cheatin its just that these guys come up to me ask me out and when i say know they get mad. :( i dont like makin people unhappy about me. They are so damn jealous and i cant stand it. If its not one its another. The real guy im in love with loves me to but im started to feel a distance between us and im liking other people. He juz doesn understand. I wish i could make this better but i dont know what to do....will you guys help?? Please :)

I am in love with 2 people it is very tricky and complicated. One knows and one doesn't. The one that knows I've known longer, we both travel a lot and don't see each other a lot but are totally crazy in love. I feel like we can't help it. I always want them in my life. So while apart I fell in love with someone else. Thinking I would forget #1 love. #1 and I have been on and off for a year. #2 and I have been on for 6 months. #2 would never understand. #1 wants me back to himself. #1 traveling for a month. I for sure think you can love 2 people. It's definitely crazy complicated. I don't know what to do. You can't tell me this hasn't been going in for years. With all that love out there in the world.

Im 13 too, i think you can sort-of be in love with more than one person but there is always that one you like best. The others may just be a crush/infuation.

I am 13 and I frankly believe that it is possible but there is only one true love for you. I personally have lthought I loved 3 girls at the same time but now I am totally focused on just the girl I can call mine <3

You can definitely love two people at the same time. Being "in love" with someone is what society has named for infatuation for someone. Love is a choice... true love anyway. When someone is at their worst, even when directed toward you, and you still love them, then you're choosing to love them. True love is unconditional.

Whether or not you want to transform your love for a person, or people, into a relationship with him/her, or them, is another story. I think you can love multiple people for different reasons. Why do we have to say only one person can "love" us, or vice versa? When you think about it, that's a lot of pressure. Maybe that's why there are so many failed marriages in this day and age.

i rthink a person can love two persons but not at a time...
He or She has to chose one..

I have been, but I'm quite lucky to be surrounded by so many great people of the opposite sex.

I think you can love two people (or more) at once, but not be IN love with more than one at a time.

i have been.

and p.s. i think that's the most personal thing i have ever written (in a comment, or my own blog). thanks for bringing it out of me.

recently asked myself this very question when prompted with the possibility of "having feelings" for someone other than my boyfriend, whom i know i love.

to be honest, i still don't know what the answer is...

Although I don't personally agree with that, I guess I could see how others would (think The Bachelor in real life). That's a very interesting statistic though...perhaps that's why I'm not married yet :) ha!

I'm in that age group too. I don't think you can be inlove with more than one person. But I think you can develop a crush, while inlove with someone else.

I think TV and movies have a lot to do with the opinions and ideas of people being polyamorous. In real life, it's just a matter of going from a crush to another within a relationship. Taking the plunge and "love" another person while you're "in love" with one, might be considered as a daredevil move. It has nothing to do with the real meaning of the word love, it just has a lot to do with adrenalin pumping.

In my case, if I really need it, I'll go bungee jumping any given time. No mess, no fuss. :D

I'm a commitment-phobe as well. I think loving one person romantically is mind numbing in itself. But loving more than one person...I have extremely close friends that I would be destroyed if we didn't talk anymore, I love them like crazy.

I battle to love one person at any given time - I couldn't imagine loving two!. I'm a complete commitment-phobe. Don't want to say the L word, no siree.

Though I am not polyamorous myself, I have friends who are. One set, in particular, is a triad with a small daughter (about 9 months old) and planning to parent as a triad. To all outward appearances, they all love each other. For myself, while I wouldn't want to have physical relationships with more than one person at a time, I feel very strongly for the two men in my life: my boyfriend and my best friend (he also happens to be my ex). With my best friend, I don't have the "I want to take you into my bed" love, but I do have the "I want you to be happy and would sacrifice to help you be happy" love. It's a platonic love, but love nonetheless.

I don't think so.
As others have mentioned...crushing is a different story...but being in LOVE with two people at once?? That's a sappy romantic comedy.

I don't know. I'm sure you could form minor crushes on others, but love? Maybe different types of love. Friendship love. But not necessarily passionate I want to marry you love.

I can barely be in love with two handbags at once in good conscience, let alone two guys.

I absolutely think you can. As the great Carrie Bradshaw once posed, once you love someone and then you stop being with them--where does the love go?

I think it's much harder to fall "out of love" with somebody then it is to be in love with more than one person at a time.

i'll get back to you on that one... ;)

That's fascinating. You can certainly crush/lust/like more than one person at a time, but I think that statement goes against everything that love stands for. Yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic.