I’m sure you’ve heard the saying people teach what they want to learn. The past month for me has been facilitating what I wanted to learn. By coming up with what I saw to be the major areas of life that twentysomethings deal with, and then asking for the community to contribute I’ve learned so much. Through this series I’ve been shown different angles of this twentysomething world I currently reside in. I am very thankful for all of the great knowledge that I was able to collect through this series and the brilliant minds of those who contributed. Here are my biggest lessons from the ABC series. I’d love to hear yours.

A is for Activism - written by Olivia of Olive Relish

i do hope that it [this post] will inspire you to take a moment, now that you have arrived at this particular place in your life, to remember your inner eight-year-old. what was important to her? she was probably passionate about something — and chances are she was fearless, confident, and determined to do everything she could to change her world for the better. listen to her, rediscover what matters to you, and then take action. your eight-year-old self was probably pretty limited as to what action she could take, but your twenty-something self is not. she is living her own life — and every decision she makes, no matter how small, has meaning.

read entire post: A is for Activisim

B is for Balance - written by Tiffany Monhollon

Balance means different things to different people. Some devote their careers to it. Others say it’s a myth. Most just want it, whether or not they think it’s really real. We talk about it a lot - different ideas on how to achieve it in our work, how to make it better in our lives. We talk about balance between work and home. Balance in our finances. Balance in our commitments. Balance in media coverage. Balance in politics. Balance. So it helps to know: what does balance look like?

Balance basically boils down to two things: omission and commission. What we choose to do and what we choose not to do. And both are important. Equally.

read entire post: B is for Balance

C is for Career - written by Kaity Mahoney

To my morning routine of coffee and emails, to the chaos that ensued with meetings to be had and deadlines to hit - and I wonder, why do I do it? For me, this stress-driven day is what challenges me and keeps me on my toes. It’s what motivates me and pushes me to reach my goals.
…
As much as my career adds to my life, it doesn’t define me… It shapes me by continuously providing me with new knowledge for the road ahead. So as you race through your hectic day, take a moment, relax and ask yourself how your career is transforming you and your twenty-something self. Ask how what you are doing now will shape your career’s future and long-term growth.

read entire post: C is for Career

D is for Dating - written by Martini of Single + Cats = Sad

Be confident in yourself. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Play the game. Hold out for what you deserve. Let him come to you. And convince yourself you’re worth it.

And don’t be afraid to crack open a bottle of wine (or two) when things get too tough, consider lesbianiasm, lie to your parents about a fake boyfriend to get them off your back, sleep with the wrong person (or two) just for kicks and dress way sexier than you think you should sober.

The main lesson you should learn is that being single is always better than being stuck in a relationship with the wrong person.

read entire post: D is for Dating

E is for Education - written by Janet Wallace of Slice of Pink

Sometimes I think of all the things I know these day–things that were completely unfathomable to my teenage mind–and I realize how fortunate I am to be able to spend my twenties learning. But, of course, that thought has a sister: although I’ve spent the last twenty-five years in a classroom, the things I know are only a tiny glint of ice in a vast tundra of the incomprehensible. In the grand scheme of things, my education really hasn’t taught me much at all, but it sure has given me an unquenchable thirst for some more of it. I’m totally hooked.

read entire post: E is for Education

F is for Family - written by Andrea of My Big Fat Italian Life

We’ve been to weddings, we’ve been to funerals, we’ve been to births and parties and so much more, but now, as we embark on this new chapter in our lives, we all have to realize, whatever your family unit looks like, don’t take them for granted. Family is what you make it. Family is what you create. And family, though you don’t get to chose them, will teach you more and help you more, than you will ever know!

read entire post: F is for Family

G is for Goals - written by Ryan Paugh

But because life without goals is monotonous and boring, I chose to study journalism. I learned a lot and grew as a person. But it wasn’t going to be my end all be all. And since graduating college, I’ve learned that half the battle is all about planting that seed, looking for places where things will grow. When you do, don’t be afraid–reach in there and get your hands dirty.

Sure, your back might ache the next day and that seed, well, it may not even hatch. But that’s the risk you take when you try to become a harvester.

What we learn from our failed attempts is that maybe we need to approach things from a different angle. Maybe our fertilizer sucks, or maybe we shouldn’t even be farming to begin with.

read entire post: G is for Goals

H is for Home - written by Holly Becker of decor8

That is why today, 13 years later, I speak so fondly of decorating and design on my blog, decor8. It’s vital to live in a place that supports your emotional well-being. One that motivates you and keeps you focused on moving forward in life. If I hadn’t renovated my apartment back then, who knows what would have happened to me?
…
Progress is power. It’s empowering to take control of what you can control and forget the rest. And when it comes to decorating, don’t be afraid, it’s never permanent because as our lives change so do our rooms and often even our style. That’s how you can make a home for yourself when you first embark on your new life as a young twentysomething in your first apartment. Jump right in with your To Do list and start checking off some tasks.

read entire post: H is for Home

I is for Identity - written by Penelope Trunk

But we each struggle with this constantly, throughout our careers. How to figure out who we are inside and what career will be right for how we see ourselves now. It’s a constantly shifting alliance — what is our identity and what is the career that will reflect that.

Don’t be so arrogant as to think you do not consider such mismatched career moves for yourself as my nude modeling was for me. It’s very hard to find what career honors our identity. Identity changes as life changes. And it’s hard to know what’s true to us at any given point.

read entire post: I is for Identity

J is for Joy - written by me

This is the reason there are so many posts written by and for millennials about find balance in your life. I will say to me one of the most important aspects of having balance is making time for joy in my life. Everyday! Even when I have 25 hours worth of things to fit into one day I manage to find ways to squeeze in a little bit of joy here and there.
…
I also create joy by making me time a priority. Remembering to set aside time to recharge and relax gives me the possibility to have a different outlook on life. I find joy in some the smallest day to day tasks. I know that my outlook is based on knowing that at the end of the day I have accomplished what I want and I have also remembered to take care of myself.

read entire post: J is for Joy

K is for Kitchen - written by Michelle & the City

I want to learn. In fact, the last time I had a get together with my high school girlfriends we decided to exchange recipes over email when we made something we really liked. We laughed about how this made us feel old, but we liked the fact that we can grow up and still have something to share with each other and have in common besides high school crushes.

So what do you guys think? Does this Susie homemaker wannabe feeling happen to every 20-something woman? Does it depend on your marital status?

read entire post: K is for Kitchen

L is for Life - written by me

I think that the early to mid-twenties is the first time that we really get to experience life for what it is. The earlier years are spent focusing on education. It wasn’t until a year or two after I graduated from college that I realized that I had so much control over what I made of my life. Growing up I had a fairytale view that I would go to college and get a job and everything would just unfold as it should. I was in for a rude awakening when I found out the reality of life outside my fairytale bubble.

read entire post: L is for Life

M is for Money - written by Michael Rubin

Instead, you’ve got to put major focus on major expenses, like your housing and car choices. The typical underpaid twenty-something simply can’t live on the same block as the manager two levels up from her or drive the car her boss drives. Not yet. When you commit to high housing or car expenses, you pay them for a long time. Therefore, that’s where you want to put most of your financial energy and discipline. Remember: just because someone will sell you something doesn’t mean you can afford it.

read entire post: M is for Money

N is for Naked - written by Karly Randolph Pitman

I have the power to change that. You do, too. That is why, as a woman, loving your body is some of the most important work that you can do.

It’s important because if it remains unaddressed, it will sabotage anything else you try to do. It’s scary to put yourself out on a limb, to offer your pearls to the world, and hope that it appreciates their value. It’s even scarier if your confidence is undermined, if you’re thinking of all the ways your body doesn’t measure up.

It’s important because you can’t separate your body from the other parts of yourself. You can’t love yourself and hate your body.

read entire post: N is for Naked

O is for Organizing - written by Erin Doland of Unclutterer

Consider re-purposing some of your college items for your kitchen needs. An old index card file is great for holding seasoning packets and soup mixes. An over-the-door pocket shoe organizer can hold pouches, cans, and mixes on the back of a pantry door. Milk crates you used as a bookshelf in your dorm room can become bins for recycling. Your shower caddy makes a nice organizer for cleaning supplies under your kitchen sink.

read entire post: O is for Organizing

P is for Politics - written by Patricia Murphy of Citizen Jane Politics

Looking ahead to 2008, I don’t care who you vote for, but I do hope you’ll vote and that you’ll make an informed decision. I also hope you’ll speak up the next time a political conversation happens around you, or leave a comment on an article you disagree with. I hope that next president is competent, qualified and up for the challenge and that tops that make you look pregnant prove to be a tragic but short-lived phenomenon.

Ladies, the direction of this country is up to somebody–why not us?

read entire post: P is for Politics

Q is for Quarterlife - written by Zandria

My quarterlife crisis? It was all about searching. I spent many hours on the internet, looking at career options, reading about people who had made big, life-changing decisions. I wanted to know how and why they ended up where they did.

I didn’t know WHERE I wanted to be, or WHO I wanted to be. I thought if I discovered the answer to at least one of those questions (but preferably both), I’d be well on my way to being happy. That’s what I would say to myself, and to other people, all the time: “I just want to be happy. I’ll move wherever I need to move, I’ll do whatever I need to do, as long as I’m happy.”

read entire post: Q is for Quarterlife

R is for Relationships - written by Erica of Five Blondes

It’s not just what you know, it’s who you know.
Have you ever heard that?
I’m here to tell you that it’s completely true. My life is a testament to the fact! My job, my apartment, my fiance…none of these things would even exist if it hadn’t been for friends and family. Relationships help you get ahead in life, and can give your life structure and meaning. I would feel lost without my friends and family - wouldn’t you?
…
But the people who truly care about me are the ones I just can’t seem to get rid of - in the best way possible! They’re the friends who send notes every once in a while just to say hi.

read entire post: R is for Relationships

S is for Stress - written by Ryan Healy

Talk about a stressful time. I always prided myself in being an even-keeled guy. I’ve never been one to stress out about much, but the past few weeks have been a whole different story. It seemed like all the hard parts of being a twentysomething; creating new friendships, surviving on your own, navigating your career and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex, were thrown into a blender, mixed up and dumped on my head!
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I reminded myself that your twenties are a time for growing up, a time for learning about yourself, a time for becoming an adult and a time for having fun. They ’re the best years of your life, but they’re also the most stressful. Between leaving home for good, jumping in and out of relationships, and navigating the wonderful world of work the stress can often be unbearable.

But the stress is what you learn from. Being a twentysomething is a learning process, and one of the best lessons these years teach us is how to not only cope with stress, but how to embrace it and thrive in stressful situations.

read entire post: S is for Stress

T is for Thankful - written by Tanja Dugas

To me, I perceive thankful to mean appreciating and enjoying the simple things in life (not just being thankful for people), like the wag of a dog’s tail, finding a ladybug on your shirt or the smell of the air right after a major rainstorm.

To realize what you have, to cherish it, truly take care of it, and to cherish the people in your life, that’s being thankful.

read entire post: T is for Thankful

U is for Understanding - written by Julianna LoCascio

I didn’t have the option of spending my days lounging by the pool with my friends with a magazine in hand dreaming of what I would being doing ten years from now; That ten years had passed and the magical question of "what do you want to be when you grow-up?" turned into a ahhhh, what the eff do I want to be? I was in complete panic mode! I mean, what am I good at? What are my passions? And why didn’t anyone tell me about this step? I got the fancy SMU degree and figured I could do something with journalism but I didn’t know what yet…

V is for Vacation - written by Tina Vaziri

I always feel more rested and more energized after being out of
the house and not worrying about my to-do list. We, as 20somethings just
learning how to live as adults, have to remember that taking care of
ourselves, even in small ways that may seem insignificant, is vital to a
healthy and successful life. I make sure to enjoy my hard work and my money
while I am young alongside saving and investing into my future.

read entire post: V is for Vacation

W is for Wage - written by Rebecca Thorman

Money isn’t everything, but I think money in a job is a lot like sex in a relationship. It’s an indicator of deeper issues. If you get too much in the beginning, things may turn out to be meaningless later. If you’re not getting enough of it, things may turn into one big mess of frustration and anger. The people who say money doesn’t matter are wrong.

read entire post: W is for Wage

X is for eXtreme - written by lfar

I’m not suggesting that you abandon your friends and intentionally lead a stressful life. I’m merely proposing that we COMMIT. That we STICK TO IT. Find something that you are desperately passionate about and go to whatever extremes you can for it. Chase the adrenaline rush. Stop caring about things you don’t actually care about. There’s time enough for everything else later.

read entire post: X is for eXtreme

Y is for Young - written by Nathan Snell

Being too young should never be an excuse for us to quit pursuing our desire to go against the odds, to do something incredible. With the struggle I have faced when I have gone against the odds, it makes me sad that age was ever a factor put into my mind, or anyone else’s. Doing something incredible is simply something that "too young" will never apply to.

read entire post: Y is for Young

Z is for Zen - written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, and would like to find a little Zen in
your 20s, try the following: take time to consider what is truly
important to you. Eliminate the non-essential to make room for these
essentials. Make space in your life. Move slower. Focus on the
present. Concentrate on what you’re doing, rather than what you need
to do later. And above all, be happy!

read entire post: Z is for Zen

Now your turn, what’s your biggest twenty something lesson?

High strung, stressed out, overworked … do any of these words describe your life? If so you need a little zen. Zen is not something that comes naturally, or easy for us ladder climbing ambitious types but it is certainly something that is necessary to keep the balance.

This guest post was written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. Leo’s very popular blog Zen Habits covers: achieving goals, productivity, being organized, GTD, motivation, eliminating debt, saving, getting a flat stomach, eating healthy, simplifying, living frugal, parenting, happiness, and successfully implementing good habits.

I’m in my mid-30s now, but it was in my 20s that I began realizing that my life was too complicated, and began looking for a simpler life. I was overworked, extremely stressed, with no time for my family, for writing, for exercise, for reading … in short, no time for anything I loved.

I decided to make a change. Slow down. Do less. Focus on the
essentials of life — the things I truly love, that I’m passionate
about, that bring me joy. Find peace in my life, and contentment.
I sought a simpler life, and that meant taking a few days off work to
contemplate what was important, and to make a plan of action. I
realized that there are only four things that are truly important to
me: spending time with my family, writing, running and reading. I
decided to center my life around those things, and to eliminate as
much of the rest as possible. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen
overnight. I gradually made changes, eliminating commitments, changing
jobs, simplifying my house, creating simple routines that incorporated
the things I loved. I made room in my life for the essential, and left
space for the rest.

While I am not a Zen Buddhist, I have studied the concepts of Zen and
try to incorporate some of them into my life. I go for a very simple,
spare aesthetic. I try to focus on the essential. I have learned to
slow down, and to focus on the present. I have learned the power of
zazen (sitting meditation, basically), and how to use this kind of
concentration in everything I do, in my everyday routines.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, and would like to find a little Zen in
your 20s, try the following: take time to consider what is truly
important to you. Eliminate the non-essential to make room for these
essentials. Make space in your life. Move slower. Focus on the
present. Concentrate on what you’re doing, rather than what you need
to do later. And above all, be happy!

I would say that one of my biggest lessons in my twenties has been that the cliche "age is just a number" is all a game of perception. Your age can be a limitation if you allow it. I find that sometimes I fall into the false perceptions of society that I need to earn my keep and work my way up for a while because right now I am "too young" to be the top dog. Other times though, I am reminded that our generation is full of fresh and new ideas and there are already so many of us making a big name for ourselves. I may have the occasional limiting thought about age but I know that my age has nothing to do with what I can accomplish with my life.

This guest post was written by Nathan Snell an entrepreneurship & business development major about to graduate from the University of North Carolina in Wilmington, a fitting degree for a Gen-Yer who started doing consultant work at age 11.

"This is the last e-mail I will send," I thought, still debating whether I should make that final *click*, sending an e-mail to one of the most well known Radio Talk Show hosts in San Francisco, CA. I was 11, and Cynthia Oti had made an announcement on her show that she needed someone to create a website for her. Despite the jokes of my friends and the hesitant encouragement from my parents, I decided I was going to create Cynthia’s website. I found out the hard way that for an 11 year old, that would be a difficult decision to live with.

I’m sure we’ve all had a situation where we have the desire to challenge the odds. Not in a flippant way, but in a completely legitimate way. At first we are excited about our new found desire, this passion. We attack adversity to our passion head-on… for a while, at least. Then, for most of us, the criticism is too much as people tell us "You’ll never get there," "you’re wasting your time," or "you’re too young," and we give up.

I hate to think of the times I’ve given up because those are all false, but most of all, "you’re too young" is false.

Being too young should never be an excuse for us to quit pursuing our desire to go against the odds, to do something incredible. With the struggle I have faced when I have gone against the odds, it makes me sad that age was ever a factor put into my mind, or anyone else’s. Doing something incredible is simply something that "too young" will never apply to.

With Cynthia, it turned out the last e-mail I would send was what it would take. The next time I spoke to her was in her office on the top floor of the Bank of America building in San Francisco.

I’d love to hear what kind of incredible things you all want to do either now, or in the future, so I can know what to expect!

Nathan, I think if you can put together a website at 11 I should never let myself think that maybe this business doesn’t want "some 26 year old" to develop their online branding.

This series has been written about the ABCs of life in your twenties. And many great people have contributed and provided great insight to what life for a twenty-something is like these days. What I have not pointed out much though (this may go without saying), is that I am always talking about the twentysomethings of today. Our generation of twentysomethings is so different than those before us. Gen Y is all over the media and the blogosphere because of the difference we are making in the work force and in the world. My mother was a twentysomething in the sex, drugs, and rock and roll era, she was certainly not concerned about work/life balance.

Our generation has a continual struggle between balance and being completely overwhelmed because we are taking on too many things. Through all of these struggles of trying to be the best we sometimes stretch ourselves too thing and end up with little pieces of too many things. This is why I asked Lisa to write about going to extremes. I do not know Lisa personally but we communicate via the internet world fairly frequently. I know that Lisa is an athlete (actually a triathlete), and I know that being great at any sort of sport requires dedication and determination as well as a strong focus. Aside from her marathoning, I have seen Lisa’s sense of dedication through the 20 something bloggers network. So, I could think of no one better to present us with today’s lesson of taking life to the extreme.

This guest post was written by Lisa, a 3rd year engineering student in Canada, founder of 20sb, who blogs regularly at I Don’t Think It’s Going to Rain.

Yeah, yeah, I know: balance.

As 20 somethings we time-manage our way through life. We budget. We rationalize. We compromise.

That’s all fine and dandy. They say the species that are most likely to survive are those that are mediocre. Those that are most average. So sure, if your goal is purely survival, then find that balance and be mediocre.

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular…it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre." –Uta Hagen

I think we’re continually held back from being exceptional due to a self inflicted sense of obligation to participate in everything.

We can peel off our socks and dip our toes in a hundred different pools of water… or we can choose a pool, sprint towards it, stumbling as we rip off our clothes, and cannon-ball in with a huge splash.

When is the last time you totally shirked a silly obligation to instead just GO FOR IT. (’It’ being your dream)

Try it. Think of any commitment you currently have and say "Whatever" to it.
Whatev.
‘Tev
Whatevskies.

Think irrationally as an exercise.

Wouldn’t finishing a marathon feel great? Doesn’t eating only pizza and diet Coke for 2 weeks while you cram hardcore for exams make for the best stories? Wouldn’t digging wells in Africa for three years be sort of the most fun thing you can think of? Isn’t following through on a dare to watch an entire season of 24 in 24 hours sort of exhilarating?

I seriously doubt that your favorite Olympian skips practice every so often so that they don’t feel like they let a friend down by missing her pre-baby-shower shower. And that CEO and founder of that starting-to-become-successful startup surely cares more about getting this company off the ground than she does about unwinding by spending 2 hours in the kitchen honing her honey baked ham recipe.

I’m not suggesting that you abandon your friends and intentionally lead a stressful life. I’m merely proposing that we COMMIT. That we STICK TO IT.

Find something that you are desperately passionate about and go to whatever extremes you can for it. Chase the adrenaline rush.

Stop caring about things you don’t actually care about. There’s time enough for everything else later.

"There’ll be time enough for sleeping when we’re dead
You will have a velvet pillow for your head
But tonight I think I’d rather just go dancing
There’ll be time enough for sleeping when we’re dead, my love"
-Time Enough for Rocking When We’re Old, by the Magnetic Fields

Why do we put such pressure on ourselves to be everything? Small doses of everything. Just enough to be mediocre in all areas of our life.

I vote that "all things in moderation" is a load of crap.

Be something to the extreme. Be it as hard as you can. Go. Do. Be!

"Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy shit … what a ride!" –Anonymous

If I were to do something extreme, outrageous it would be to pursue singing as a career. At the moment I’m still to practical for that, but that is a dream of mine. What is your extreme?

There are a few people who I would consider to be big names in writing specifically about Gen Y, Rebecca Thorman is one of those names. On her blog Modite, Rebecca gives advice to "navigate beyond the line of work and play." Rebecca will be sharing her career advice today on a topic that is an issue for many twentysomethings — wage (as in salary).

This guest post was written by Rebecca Thorman, author of the blog Modite, which as been featured in several media outlets including the New York Times as the key community for Generation Y leadership

My first job out of college paid me $26,250/yr. It was the most ridiculous salary. I thought it didn’t matter because I would love what I was doing. Instead, I did the dirty work. Really.

Unbeknownst to me, we did a lot of deconstruction projects. That means we tore down buildings in such a way as to reduce, reuse and recycle what would have otherwise gone in the trash. One of our projects was deconstructing an old hospital so that a developer could put up a trendy condo development. I was in charge. I supervised day laborers wearing heavy work boots to avoid the old syringes, balled-up hospital gowns and other items from the hospital of horrors that lay on the dust-infested floor. Walking through the corridors, rooms that had been closed off from fresh air and light for months gave off a particularly interesting smell.

Oh, how I hated it. I hated every single second of it. There’s no way I’m getting paid enough for this, I thought, day after day. They could never pay me enough for this.

And therein began the downward spiral into complete job meltdown. Before I knew it, I could barely get up in the morning.

Money isn’t everything, but I think money in a job is a lot like sex in a relationship. It’s an indicator of deeper issues. If you get too much in the beginning, things may turn out to be meaningless later. If you’re not getting enough of it, things may turn into one big mess of frustration and anger.

The people who say money doesn’t matter are wrong. So, soon I began a new job where I received more money, more benefits, and was much happier. Soon after that, I started my current position making more money and became even happier.

That’s because money can’t buy you happiness, but the two seem to be inextricably linked, so as one rises or falls, the other follows suit.

Recently, with my newfound money and happiness, I bought one of those trendy condos that the developer was building in place of that old hospital. They’ll finish it and I’ll move in sometime in June. And that is one of the most satisfying circles of fate ever.

I always love when a good circle of fate comes about. There are people who stay in jobs they hate because the money is good and there are those who leave otherwise good jobs because the pay is not enough. The goal is, at least for me, to have a job that satisfies me and pays well.

Stress, quarterlife crisis, balance, career, family … how do we handle everything that we are trying to juggle in our lives? One word … vacation. Vacation can be a 2 hour picnic in the park or a 2 day roadtrip. Even if you don’t have the time (or finances) to take a 7 day cruise it’s very important to take time for yourself to have a break from it all.

This guest post was written by Tina Vaziri, an illustrator and graphic designer who also happens to be living in the great state of Texas. Tina blogs (and illustrates!) regularly at The Adventures of Tina and Mr. Bee.

My dad likes to remind me often of how important it is to take vacations.
Everyone can take vacations, he told me, no matter what their financial
situation is. And everyone should take vacations because if someone’s life
is only about working they will burn out and become very unhappy, very
quickly.

The dad rules for vacations:
1. If you have the money, take two vacations each year, fly someplace far
away and stay for more than a week. Completely lose yourself in the area and
forget about your responsibilities. Take this time to completely replenish
and rest your soul.

2. If you can’t take that kind of vacation, then put a few weekends aside
and drive a few hours to the coast, to a national park, or a small town with
lots of sights to see. Stay at a little hotel and enjoy a different
perspective and way of life from your normal day to day.

3. If you can’t get away for the weekend, then drive someplace closer for
the day and come back that night, these kind of outings should be done very
often. Go to a city park and have a picnic, go to the zoo, the botanical
gardens, go swimming at a lake, the possibilities are endless.

I notice a big difference in myself on the weekends that I spend time
outdoors. I always feel more rested and more energized after being out of
the house and not worrying about my to-do list. We, as 20somethings just
learning how to live as adults, have to remember that taking care of
ourselves, even in small ways that may seem insignificant, is vital to a
healthy and successful life. I make sure to enjoy my hard work and my money
while I am young alongside saving and investing into my future.

If I had to sum up what the twenties are really, truly about I’d say it’s a phase of discover, a time to really understand ourselves. The quarterlife crisis, and a large part of the stress all stem back to the issue of discovering our identity. For me during all of my young years I felt so certain of who I was and where I was going. Then one day it was like someone flipped a light switch and all of these new areas were visible for me. The last few years have been a time of discovery, a constant search for who I really am.

I’ve had this discussion with many of my close friends. In fact, I’ve had this discussion with complete strangers. It seems that this topic of discussion is regularly revisited with one particular friend of mine. She is more than a friend, she is like a sister to me. We have known each other our whole lives and consequently we both really understand each other. Sometimes, when you are searching in the dark to find yourself, it helps to reach out and find someone there who really knows you. This person for me is Julianna. Julianna is a personal trainer, a freelance writer, and is currently taking large steps that I know will soon land her in Hollywood. She is co-directing, producing, screenwriting and acting in a production about one woman’s discovery of herself — Five.

This guest post was written by Julianna LoCascio, a personal trainer, freelance writer and producer of Five.

I remember the day I woke up and realized I had to make something of myself without anyone’s permission but my own!

I soon realized and began to understand what it meant to NOT feel invincible; that I could literally drive straight into a brick wall and be dead! That was my first, OMG, who am I? and Why the heck am I here?, awakening as woman in her clueless 20’s.

I was no longer thinking about what movie I was going to see with my boyfriend that night or concocting some sort of clever excuse to tell my step-dad when I didn’t follow his ridiculous 2 a.m. check-up call. I didn’t have to wake up for class or even eat breakfast that day if I didn’t want to.

I didn’t have the option of spending my days lounging by the pool with my friends with a magazine in hand dreaming of what I would being doing ten years from now; That ten years had passed and the magical question of "what do you want to be when you grow-up?" turned into a ahhhh, what the eff do I want to be? I was in complete panic mode! I mean, what am I good at? What are my passions? And why didn’t anyone tell me about this step? I got the fancy SMU degree and figured I could do something with journalism but I didn’t know what yet…

I began to see how powerful or powerless I could be. So I started reading inspirational books, going to church and reaching out to what was once so familiar and comfortable. Without my morning call to my Mom I wasn’t sure what do to with myself that day! But she acted so different this time "You need to figure out where you’re going to get a job, Julianna because your Dad and I are getting ready to cut you off girl!"

I began to understand what it meant when they say "independent woman!" "What now?" Ok, I spend most my time at the gym, so I guess I can become a personal trainer, live in my parents house until I can save up enough money to move-out and in the meantime figure out what I really love and could do everyday of my life!

Months went by, that felt like centuries, and I was still at square one until one day I woke up, glanced in the mirror and thought to myself if she could do it why couldn’t I? I was going to make movies, write books and travel because I said so…

This is the story of me in my 20’s transitioning from girl to woman overnight and me beginning to understand what my purpose is. So, if you, by chance are in this same transition in your life, I would love to hear if you have a better understanding of what it means to be in your 20’s.

For Julianna her day of wondering what she was going to do hit right after she graduated from college. My day of waking up and wondering "what am I doing" didn’t happen until about 2 years out of school. I spent a few years in my career and really started to question if that’s really the direction I wanted my life to go in. Was there a defining moment, or day, when you really started to reach and question who you wanted to be?

I think there are several factors that make our twenties a time of being thankful. I actually think that it is the stress and major life changes that we are all going through that make us stop and realize what really matters in our lives. The last few years with every challenging time I was constantly reminded of the things in my life that I am thankful for. In the past year I have become more thankful for my friends than I have ever been. I asked one of my closest friends to write the post on being thankful because I like to say she is the queen of thank you notes. This girl is actually the queen of cards. Rain or shine there will be cards in my mail box from this lovely lady.

This guest post was written by my friend, an elementary school art teacher, Tanja Dugas.

Thankful means

1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.
2. Expressive of gratitude

In addition to the above definitions, I also perceive thankful to mean not taking anything in life for granted. To me, I perceive thankful to mean appreciating and enjoying the simple things in life (not just being thankful for people), like the wag of a dog’s tail, finding a ladybug on your shirt or the smell of the air right after a major rainstorm.

To realize what you have, to cherish it, truly take care of it, and to cherish the people in your life, that’s being thankful. Besides being supportive of people, expressing your gratitude to others is a major way to be thankful.

I was told I am the queen at thank you notes. I had no idea! I don’t know what that means exactly. I know I write a lot of them. I do it, because I am really thankful for the people in my life, and I want them to know I appreciate and love them. Also, I think letters and notes are a great thing to reread on a bad day, and it can brighten your day instantly.

I am thankful for: my health, my freedom, my career of being a teacher, my students, all of my amazing friends and family, nature, animals, music and sweets (especially cupcakes).

What are you thankful for?

Just thinking about the word stress makes me feel stressed. Ryan Healy of Employee Evolution does a great job sheding a new light on what stress looks like for us 20somethings.

This guest post was written by Ryan Healy, a twentysomething who speaks with companies, organizations and students on a variety of career related topics. Healy decided to make his voice heard and founded the Generation-Y career blog, Employee Evolution, along with Ryan Paugh (who wrote G is for Goals). The blog has appeared in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and Business Week. Ryan has been been featured as a spokesperson for Generation Y on CBS’s 60 Minutes.

When Elysa asked if I wanted to write a post about stress, I couldn’t think of a more fitting topic. Career wise, we had just launched our company website, we were smack dab in the middle of raising a round of funding, and I was beginning to understand what it really means to be a workaholic. Personally, I was in a new city trying to meet new people, and I was dating a girl that I was really into, but things were obviously not going to work out.

Talk about a stressful time. I always prided myself in being an even-keeled guy. I’ve never been one to stress out about much, but the past few weeks have been a whole different story. It seemed like all the hard parts of being a twentysomething; creating new friendships, surviving on your own, navigating your career and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex, were thrown into a blender, mixed up and dumped on my head!

I actually became physically sick for a couple of days in the midst of everything. Luckily, I had plans for a much-needed three-day trip to my parent’s house. For those three days I continued to work, but I took a step back, a couple deep breaths and I put everything into perspective.

I reminded myself that your twenties are a time for growing up, a time for learning about yourself, a time for becoming an adult and a time for having fun. They’re the best years of your life, but they’re also the most stressful. Between leaving home for good, jumping in and out of relationships, and navigating the wonderful world of work the stress can often be unbearable.

But the stress is what you learn from. Being a twentysomething is a learning process, and one of the best lessons these years teach us is how to not only cope with stress, but how to embrace it and thrive in stressful situations.

Everyone cope’s in different ways, the trick is to figure out what best works for you. For me, it’s going for a long run. There’s something about being in the moment and thinking clearly when I’m jogging that is unbelievably relaxing to me. A lot of people I know do yoga, others read, and some like to go to the bar. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just be sure you know what you need to do to overcome the most stressful situations you encounter.

Because the truth is, as we get older, life is only going to get more complicated and more people are going to be dependent on us. Kids, a spouse and a mortgage may seem light years away, but they’re right around the corner. If you don’t know how to deal with stress when you’re responsible for more than yourself, you’re in big trouble. So think of your twenties as training for the real adult world. Learn from the difficult situations and know what you need to do to overcome the stressful times. And don’t forget to have some fun while you’re at it!

I love the part about everything being thrown into a blender and dumped on your head. That describes my 2007 — yes the whole year. It’s Friday so I choose to destress by spending some time outside, the weather is gorgeous here in Texas.

One of my favorite parts of running this ABC series has been choosing the guest writers for each post. When I decided to have R be for Relationship, I knew I wanted someone who could write about all aspects of relationships - family, friends, work, as well as dating. The first definition of the term relationship is usually linked to romantic relationship. We already had a post about dating, so I was wanting this post to cover a broader range. The person that I chose to write this post is Erica of Five Blondes, a blog written by Erica and her 4 blonde sisters. When I wrote to her asking if she’d like to participate this was my logic "I figure someone with 4 sisters knows about creating relationships with people."

This guest post was written by Erica, who blogs regularly along with her 4 blonde sisters at Five Blondes.

It’s not just what you know, it’s who you know.
Have you ever heard that?
I’m here to tell you that it’s completely true. My life is a testament to the fact! My job, my apartment, my fiance…none of these things would even exist if it hadn’t been for friends and family. Relationships help you get ahead in life, and can give your life structure and meaning. I would feel lost without my friends and family - wouldn’t you?

Although I’m only 25, I’ve known my boss for over 14 years (and we’re the same age!). How is that possible? We met in the fifth grade, both new students at a music school. We quickly became friends and remained close throughout elementary school and high school. We drifted apart a little after she got married and began her family - at the same time, she was starting a business with her husband. Just over a year ago, I noticed that their company was hiring. Feeling unchallenged by my call centre job, I thought to myself "it’s who you know!" Thanks to my longtime relationship with my friend, today I have a job I love and new relationships with great co-workers and clients.

Since turning 20, I’ve found that it has been easier to identify what relationships in my life are the most meaningful. I’ve traveled across the country and back and held nearly a dozen different jobs. My friends from high school have spread out across the country, making getting together a rare occasion. But the people who truly care about me are the ones I just can’t seem to get rid of - in the best way possible! They’re the friends who send notes every once in a while just to say hi. The cousins I see only once a year - but when I do see them, it feels like we were never apart. It is said that true friends are hard to find - I also think they’re hard to lose.

When it comes to your relationships with your family members, it might take a long time for you to recognize the true value in them. As is normal when siblings are growing up, my sisters and I fought. A lot. It wasn’t until they began moving away from home for university and for their own twenty-something adventures that I realized just how special they are to me, and how important it is for them to be a part of my life. Like fine wine, relationships only get better with age - I can’t wait for the future!