One of my favorite parts of running this ABC series has been choosing the guest writers for each post. When I decided to have R be for Relationship, I knew I wanted someone who could write about all aspects of relationships – family, friends, work, as well as dating. The first definition of the term relationship is usually linked to romantic relationship. We already had a post about dating, so I was wanting this post to cover a broader range. The person that I chose to write this post is Erica of Five Blondes, a blog written by Erica and her 4 blonde sisters. When I wrote to her asking if she’d like to participate this was my logic "I figure someone with 4 sisters knows about creating relationships with people."
This guest post was written by Erica, who blogs regularly along with her 4 blonde sisters at Five Blondes.
It’s not just what you know, it’s who you know.
Have you ever heard that?
I’m here to tell you that it’s completely true. My life is a testament to the fact! My job, my apartment, my fiance…none of these things would even exist if it hadn’t been for friends and family. Relationships help you get ahead in life, and can give your life structure and meaning. I would feel lost without my friends and family – wouldn’t you?
Although I’m only 25, I’ve known my boss for over 14 years (and we’re the same age!). How is that possible? We met in the fifth grade, both new students at a music school. We quickly became friends and remained close throughout elementary school and high school. We drifted apart a little after she got married and began her family – at the same time, she was starting a business with her husband. Just over a year ago, I noticed that their company was hiring. Feeling unchallenged by my call centre job, I thought to myself "it’s who you know!" Thanks to my longtime relationship with my friend, today I have a job I love and new relationships with great co-workers and clients.
Since turning 20, I’ve found that it has been easier to identify what relationships in my life are the most meaningful. I’ve traveled across the country and back and held nearly a dozen different jobs. My friends from high school have spread out across the country, making getting together a rare occasion. But the people who truly care about me are the ones I just can’t seem to get rid of – in the best way possible! They’re the friends who send notes every once in a while just to say hi. The cousins I see only once a year – but when I do see them, it feels like we were never apart. It is said that true friends are hard to find – I also think they’re hard to lose.
When it comes to your relationships with your family members, it might take a long time for you to recognize the true value in them. As is normal when siblings are growing up, my sisters and I fought. A lot. It wasn’t until they began moving away from home for university and for their own twenty-something adventures that I realized just how special they are to me, and how important it is for them to be a part of my life. Like fine wine, relationships only get better with age – I can’t wait for the future!
I heard something on Oprah that made me STOP, say “hold up” to myself, hit rewind on the DVR and watch it again.
“When a man says no in this culture, it’s the end of the discussion. When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.” – Gavin De Becker (author of The Gift of Fear) – as seen on Oprah’s episode Trusting Your Intuition.
Are we really still in a day and age where this is the case? I’d like to hope that we aren’t. I wonder if this is a generational thing. I’d like to say that I completely disagree with this 1950esque statement but sadly I cannot. This statement really does nothing more for me than make me want to ask questions. Will this off balance ever be different? Can it be seen as a positive instead of a negative idea?
I’ve noticed that sometimes my life seems to resemble a sitcom in the aspect that a reoccurring theme continues to present itself. You know how on TV shows each episode tends to have 1 theme that all of the characters get to deal with in their own particular way? Sometimes in my life I continue to get the same message from many different unrelated sources. When this happens I always stop to make notice, ok I am supposed to be getting this lesson this week.
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Does anyone else find it strange that I am about to go to my company Thanksgiving party that spouses are not invited to? Not that I have a spouse Even though I have no spouse it still bothers me that spouses can’t come to a company party that employees are expected to show up to. Did I mention that clients are invited and that about 500 people show up to this party every year?
This is bumping up against my gen y beliefs of balancing work and family life. One of the fellow designers is married and has 2 kids. I don’t see why a company Thanksgiving party wouldn’t be the perfect opportunity for her to enjoy both work and family at the same time. I spend 40+ hours a week with these people I think it would be nice to get to know the important people in their lives.
Anyways, stepping off my soap box now and headed down with my CO-WORKERS to said party.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and discussing our generation’s desire for a work/life balance. I am on a constant search for the right balance of business and personal life. In this moment I have decided maybe it isn’t balance we should be working to achieve. I think we need to work on our juggling skills.
At any given time I am juggling:
my career, spending quality time with my fiancé, keeping up with my friends from college, spending time with my family, building my freelance business, a continual search of knowledge, learning to cook, budgeting, having fun time, blogging, and wedding planning.
In response to Tiffany’s post A Generation of Paradox. I wrote that one of my biggest issues is learning how to deal with separate areas of my life.
I think it is ok to love cooking and also ok to love your job but when you spend your cooking time thinking that you should be working then really you don’t get to enjoy either aspect.
Do you think that learning to balance/juggle (whatever you want to call it) is a generational thing? Or do you think that is something everyone goes through at this particular stage in life.
It’s hard to say for me, because I don’t have much to compare to. I would imagine that when my mom was first out of college and recently married she struggled to find time for everything. I think probably that our generation has taken on a little more than those before us so we are dealing with the same juggling issue but we just have more balls up in the air at once. It is not uncommon for Gen Yers to have a full time job as well as do some sort of freelancing on the side.
What do you think? How do you juggle your life?
People are talkin’