GenPink

There are not a whole lot of words to describe the roller coaster, self discovery time of life some call our twenties. The best I can put it today, is it’s like standing at the edge of the ocean … some days the tide is up and the water brings life and energy and other times there’s nothing. The truth that I’ve found is that enjoying each moment as it is, not worrying about the future or regretting the past is what it’s all about. And sometimes it’s the in between that brings the greatest gifts.

I can’t really give much commentary without giving things away other than make sure you watch the whole video before you come to any conclusions

As soon as the idea for the ABCs came to me I quickly got out my trusty notebook and began writing down different words that could work for different letters. Surprising L (well and x) was the hardest letter for me. I bantered back and forth with this one. The obvious love kept coming back to me. I really didn’t want to do ‘L is for Love’ for a few reasons. First of all, not all twentysomethings make their twenties about finding love. Many people spend their twenties focusing on career and feel that their love life will come as it does. And the real reason that I did not to do ‘L is for Love’ is that really it’s just so cliche (for me). I started GenPink to be out of the box that I was seeing female bloggers being put in. I refuse to do things that I see as being too cliche. So, since L had such a meaning for me I decided that I should not have a guest writer on this. L is for Life was too important to not take on what that means to me as a twentysomething female.

life [lahyf]
–noun
1. the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual.
2. a particular aspect of existence.

I think that the early to mid-twenties is the first time that we really get to experience life for what it is. The earlier years are spent focusing on education. It wasn’t until a year or two after I graduated from college that I realized that I had so much control over what I made of my life. Growing up I had a fairytale view that I would go to college and get a job and everything would just unfold as it should. I was in for a rude awakening when I found out the reality of life outside my fairytale bubble.

I was shocked to find that just because you have a degree does not necessarily mean that you will get the job. And just because you have the degree and get the job doesn’t mean that’s really the job for you. The lesson that I continually learn is that life is what you make of it. I know that sounds so cheesy (and cliche) but it really is true. I think it’s scary and empowering all at the same time to know that I have the power to make my life what is today, and tomorrow. The life that I am making for myself now is one that makes a difference in the world.

One of the lesson that I’ve learned this year is that life is now. This seems pretty obvious on paper but many people do not realize what this really means. A few months back a friend of mine lost her brother to an accident. It is moments like this that remind us that we are not always promised future with those we care about. If we spend our whole lives waiting on the perfect moment we will miss out on today. Your life is today, make what you will of it.

I leave you with this quote because I think this sums up what life in your twenties is about.

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." - Ben Stein

On this day for celebrating love, this piece of advice written by my lovely friend (and college roommate) Olivia is perfect:

if you’re anything like me, you’ve had your fair share of unhealthy relationships. the thing is, that’s okay, as long as you pay attention to what it is you are supposed to learn from each situation. bad relationships are an invaluable opportunity to learn about yourself, about what you want out of life and love and relationships. there is no better way to learn what you truly want and need than to experience what you don’t want.

so i’m hoping to impart a little bit of what i’ve learned from my personal experience. i have found these things to be key to my happiness and to the health of my relationship with my husband. you might consider this somewhat of a relationship checklist – the staples of a healthy relationship. make sure they’re on your list too.

equality:

it is so so important that you and your partner be equals. on so many levels.

you don’t want to be in a relationship where one of you likes the other more or less.

say, for instance, that you like your partner more than he (or she) likes you. you will constantly be fighting for his time, his attention, his love. he will be annoyed at best and will inevitably start pushing you away. this is an incredibly painful situation, and incredibly dangerous for your self worth.

please listen to me when i tell you that there is no better feeling in the world than knowing that your partner loves you and appreciates you just as much (no more, no less) than you love and appreciate him.

respect:

i’m talking about real respect. i promise you it comes naturally when you truly love each other equally. you don’t have to work at it, you just do it. you put each other first, you communicate about the important stuff, you don’t hurt each other. ever. you would never want to.

trust:

trust is what happens when you know that you are respected and loved as an equal in your relationship. you cannot be in a successful relationship unless you know, deep down in your heart and soul and bones and gross inside parts, that you can trust your partner with your heart. it’s a scary thing, i know, to give someone that kind of power. but be sure that it is an amazing gift to be able to do such a thing.

communication:

everyone says it because it’s true: communication is key to any relationship.

talk to your partner and make sure that you’re on the same page about the important stuff. (first, you might need to take some time to figure out what it is that is really important to you.)

always discuss big decisions. be willing to compromise. articulate your thoughts, your opinions, your emotions. talk about your day, too. and don’t forget to listen.

teamwork:

okay. this is common sense. you and your partner are in a relationship. you need to be on the same team. if you’re not on the same team, one of you will always be losing. help each other through the hard stuff, and celebrate each other’s victories. work together. you are in this together. act that way.

laughter:

don’t take yourself or each other too seriously. please. be silly. be goofy. be you. life is fun. enjoy it. nothing in life is worth getting all worked up over.

i’m not trying to say that life is all sunshine and roses. bad things happen. times get hard. but that’s when you need to remember that you’re on the same team. there’s nothing you can’t get through together.

these things are priceless. do not underestimate their value.

but this is important too: know who you are and what you deserve, and do not settle for anything – ANYTHING – less.

be able to recognize when a relationship is not right and then get out of it. why would you stay? your partner should lift you up, hold your hand, be your friend, and make you smile. not cry — unless you are crying happy tears. and you should return the favor. i’m telling you that the fairy tale is real. it exists. don’t be afraid to go out and get it.

Happy Valentine’s Day! May you feel loved and cherished.

In an instant moment I am reminded about what is really important in life. I spent most of my day (actually week) stressing about the daunting details of life (work, traffic, laundry, etc.) and in one moment, with one phone call, a cosmic two-by-four just hit me upside the head and said life is not about laundry.

This awful phone call (that I am still in shock about) was from a friend telling me that her brother had just been killed in a car accident. As if this news was not bad enough there was one more detail that leaves me in deep sympathy for a stranger. I was told that her brother was actually on the phone with his wife when the accident happened. I can not even imagine the pain and suffering that she was going through in that instant. As if losing your husband isn’t hard enough.

I have no words of advice other than make sure to take the time to tell those close to you that you love them. Life can change in an instant and there are only so many tomorrows.