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I learned a new word today … gastrosexual:

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but it seems the dining tables have turned as increasing numbers of men are taking up cooking in a bid to seduce women.

Dubbed ‘Gastrosexuals‘ this new generation of men consider cooking more a hobby than a household chore and use their kitchen prowess to impress friends and prospective partners. -Mail Online via yumsugar

While, I’m not so into the sound of the word gastrosexual I am certainly into guys who can cook. This girl likes to eat! Is master chef on your list of ideal mate?

This is from Cosmo magazine.

What do you guys think? I fit into that age group and I have never known anyone to be in love with more than one person at a time.

dat·ing
–verb
1. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
2. To go on dates.

Somehow at the age of 26 the majority of my friends are married or are in long term relationships. This made it a little difficult to think of someone who could write about dating in your 20s. I myself am certainly not an expert on this topic (in fact I’m kind of afraid of this topic). I sent out a few emails asking for who would best discuss this topic. I was pointed to Martini of Single + Cats = Sad. I actually had never read her blog before but my friend has brought her up in discussions many times. Sidenote: does it show how much our generation is impacted by blogs that when my friends and I get together “in real life” we discuss random blogs that we’ve read

So without further adu, I give you D is for Dating.

This guest post was written by Martini, a 27 year old single blogger who says “blogging is cheaper than a therapist”.

Oh my god, what does dating in your 20s mean? Just thinking about that question exhausts my brain.

I’m a 27-year-old single girl, and in order to cope with my last nine months of singledom, I think I’ve put a few vineyard owners’ children through college, if that’s any indication of my coping technique.

First off, almost everyone’s experienced the joyus hell that is dating in your 20s, unless of course you were that chick in my study hall that got married two days after high school. If so, I mean, god bless. How’s that working out for you?

But for the rest of us who have banned the word “settling” from our vocabularies, the search for that person that will perfectly compliment all of our neuroses for the rest of our life is ongoing. Welcome to dating. It’s not like it was in high school. Our standards have risen beyond “he’s cute” and “his dad’s car is sweet.”

As I tell my married friends, who seem to garner gleeful enjoyment from stories of crazies I meet as a single girl, it’s not being single that’s hard. Being single is great. I love being single. You don’t have to conceal your latest shoe purchases when you get home, your apartment is devoid of Star Wars figurines, and you’re always allowed to flirt.

Ah, yes, being single is fun. It’s dating that can literally drive you to the brink of insanity, mumbling to yourself at a bus stop about bees and spinning in circles like a hyper Chihuahua every time the phone rings.

I was in back-to-back committed relationships (I do heart monogamy) from age 19 until 26. So last year, when my 3 ½ year relationship fell apart, I found myself single for the first time since high school. Really, really single.

And since then, I’ve dated everything from a gay mormon virgin to a B-list celebrity with serious bi-polar issues. Trust me, it’s just as crazy as it sounds.

So what have I learned? I’ve learned that, as I type this three glasses of pinot in (and keep in mind it’s a Wednesday), and as a girl, no matter how many bad dates you have, it’s your girlfriends that matter most. The saying “hoes before bros” never made more sense to me.

You need your girls not just for moral support, but for a rational opinion when you’re faced with the decision on whether or not to date someone. Are they a douche? Your girlfriends will tell you straight up.

Regardless, dating is a hard. Don’t feel bad if you’re single and feel close to giving up on the whole thing. Just keep going because, let’s be honest, you don’t want to wind up 63 years old and surrounded by cats.

Be confident in yourself. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Play the game. Hold out for what you deserve. Let him come to you. And convince yourself you’re worth it.

And don’t be afraid to crack open a bottle of wine (or two) when things get too tough, consider lesbianiasm, lie to your parents about a fake boyfriend to get them off your back, sleep with the wrong person (or two) just for kicks and dress way sexier than you think you should sober.

The main lesson you should learn is that being single is always better than being stuck in a relationship with the wrong person.

Dating in your 20s should be fun. Because dating in your 30s is going to be way more serious. So enjoy this. Play with the boys. Make them beg for it. And always remember, everyone who’s married envies you. So enjoy that fact.

I can’t say that I agree that all of my married friends envy the crazy single life but I do know that they are quite entertained by the stories us single girls come up with.

On this day for celebrating love, this piece of advice written by my lovely friend (and college roommate) Olivia is perfect:

if you’re anything like me, you’ve had your fair share of unhealthy relationships. the thing is, that’s okay, as long as you pay attention to what it is you are supposed to learn from each situation. bad relationships are an invaluable opportunity to learn about yourself, about what you want out of life and love and relationships. there is no better way to learn what you truly want and need than to experience what you don’t want.

so i’m hoping to impart a little bit of what i’ve learned from my personal experience. i have found these things to be key to my happiness and to the health of my relationship with my husband. you might consider this somewhat of a relationship checklist – the staples of a healthy relationship. make sure they’re on your list too.

equality:

it is so so important that you and your partner be equals. on so many levels.

you don’t want to be in a relationship where one of you likes the other more or less.

say, for instance, that you like your partner more than he (or she) likes you. you will constantly be fighting for his time, his attention, his love. he will be annoyed at best and will inevitably start pushing you away. this is an incredibly painful situation, and incredibly dangerous for your self worth.

please listen to me when i tell you that there is no better feeling in the world than knowing that your partner loves you and appreciates you just as much (no more, no less) than you love and appreciate him.

respect:

i’m talking about real respect. i promise you it comes naturally when you truly love each other equally. you don’t have to work at it, you just do it. you put each other first, you communicate about the important stuff, you don’t hurt each other. ever. you would never want to.

trust:

trust is what happens when you know that you are respected and loved as an equal in your relationship. you cannot be in a successful relationship unless you know, deep down in your heart and soul and bones and gross inside parts, that you can trust your partner with your heart. it’s a scary thing, i know, to give someone that kind of power. but be sure that it is an amazing gift to be able to do such a thing.

communication:

everyone says it because it’s true: communication is key to any relationship.

talk to your partner and make sure that you’re on the same page about the important stuff. (first, you might need to take some time to figure out what it is that is really important to you.)

always discuss big decisions. be willing to compromise. articulate your thoughts, your opinions, your emotions. talk about your day, too. and don’t forget to listen.

teamwork:

okay. this is common sense. you and your partner are in a relationship. you need to be on the same team. if you’re not on the same team, one of you will always be losing. help each other through the hard stuff, and celebrate each other’s victories. work together. you are in this together. act that way.

laughter:

don’t take yourself or each other too seriously. please. be silly. be goofy. be you. life is fun. enjoy it. nothing in life is worth getting all worked up over.

i’m not trying to say that life is all sunshine and roses. bad things happen. times get hard. but that’s when you need to remember that you’re on the same team. there’s nothing you can’t get through together.

these things are priceless. do not underestimate their value.

but this is important too: know who you are and what you deserve, and do not settle for anything – ANYTHING – less.

be able to recognize when a relationship is not right and then get out of it. why would you stay? your partner should lift you up, hold your hand, be your friend, and make you smile. not cry — unless you are crying happy tears. and you should return the favor. i’m telling you that the fairy tale is real. it exists. don’t be afraid to go out and get it.

Happy Valentine’s Day! May you feel loved and cherished.

Thursday marks the continuation of the guest post series on Twenty Something Advice. Today’s guest post is written by Blonde Features, a 23 year old just trying to figure out life. She says she is "trying not to lose my tan, the beach, and my blonde hair in Washington."

Love in your 20′s can be a very confusing thing. My best friend has just gone through an awful break up. At 22, she spent 5 years (all of college) with her boyfriend and the most important advice I feel that I have given her and what I would tell every 20 something is: The most important thing you can do for yourself is to spend time learning about who you are as an independent person and be comfortable being single.

I am a loving person, I love being in a relationships, but after being in one relationship for 3 years and another for 2 years I made it a point to be on my own. I found it extremely challenging and lonely but after spending two years single I learned how important it is to value yourself as an independent adult. This is the time in our lives to ask ourselves, "What do I want out of life? What do I want to accomplish before I die? How do I want the world to look at me? What is important to me?". These are difficult to answer alone and more so when you have someone who is always around. How can you expect to be introspective when you are in a relationship and always thinking about someone else?

I have been in love twice, I have been single and I know that I have met "the ONE." It wasn’t easy but I learned a lot in the process. I met him freshmen year of college. I was only 18. We dated for two years and I struggled in college trying to balance him, while trying to flourish in a new environment where I was on my own for the first time and I couldn’t have both. We broke up and I transferred schools, needing space to grow. And I did grow. While I missed him every day of the next two years when we were apart, I did a lot of growing up. I was single, I met new people, I met new friends, I learned about being lonely, being alone, and finally being happy and being alone. I kept him in a corner of my mind every day but not having him to lean on, caused me to venture out, do more things, pursue the things I love. I don’t believe it is impossible to accomplish these things when you are in a relationship, but I believe for me, I needed to spend that time alone, to force myself to get out there because I couldn’t just stay home and watch a movie alone on a Friday night and not feel lonely. I had to go to that party where that nice girl from my class had invited me to, I took up surfing so I didn’t spend Saturday afternoons always studying, I got a job and really pursued my interests of event planning. Those are the most important things I learned being single and I would never take any of that back.

My story ends happily every after. At the end of senior year in college, after two years of complete silence between "The One" and I, I finally cracked the ice. I was ready for him and for what he meant to me and my life. I sent him a note for his birthday, just a token that even after 2 years I was still thinking of him. He responded with the love letter I always hoped would be there when I was ready. The one where he told me he missed me everyday, his life was not complete without me, and that I was his "One." We have been back together for 2 years since that heart-stopping moment. But I know things would never have worked if I had let my love swallow my independence and that is what I would hope for every 20 year old. Be Independent, Take "Me" time now before "Family" time takes over later in life. Learn to Make Yourself Smile Before You Try to Make Someone Else Smile!

Hope that helps!! I still struggle with being 20something everyday, but I hope what I learned will help someone else! Good Luck!

-Blonde Features

I love having this series being primarily guest posts because I love getting other 20somethings views on life, life and the whole crazy thing. Though I did my single, independent time in a different order than blonde features I completely agree with her. I very much believe life in your twenties is about figuring out what it is you really want for your future. I would like to add one thing it is important also to keep your independence even when you are in a relationship. This seems pretty obvious but I have seen several women, especially young women, lose themselves by trying to change themselves for their guy.

What do you guys think?

Be sure to check out Blonde Features blog.

If you’d like to contribute to the advice series you can contact me on 20something Bloggers.

Previous Twenty Something Advice:

• Twenty Something Advice: Make your goals measurable
• Twenty Something Advice: Is it time for a job change?
• Twenty Something Advice: Circle of Friends
• Twenty Something Advice: Power of Music
• Twenty Something Advice: Educate Yourself on Politics
• Twenty Something Struggle: Why Can’t I Be Happy?
• Twenty Something Advice: Don’t plan your life based on what other people expect