One of my favorite parts of running this ABC series has been choosing the guest writers for each post. When I decided to have R be for Relationship, I knew I wanted someone who could write about all aspects of relationships - family, friends, work, as well as dating. The first definition of the term relationship is usually linked to romantic relationship. We already had a post about dating, so I was wanting this post to cover a broader range. The person that I chose to write this post is Erica of Five Blondes, a blog written by Erica and her 4 blonde sisters. When I wrote to her asking if she’d like to participate this was my logic "I figure someone with 4 sisters knows about creating relationships with people."

This guest post was written by Erica, who blogs regularly along with her 4 blonde sisters at Five Blondes.

It’s not just what you know, it’s who you know.
Have you ever heard that?
I’m here to tell you that it’s completely true. My life is a testament to the fact! My job, my apartment, my fiance…none of these things would even exist if it hadn’t been for friends and family. Relationships help you get ahead in life, and can give your life structure and meaning. I would feel lost without my friends and family - wouldn’t you?

Although I’m only 25, I’ve known my boss for over 14 years (and we’re the same age!). How is that possible? We met in the fifth grade, both new students at a music school. We quickly became friends and remained close throughout elementary school and high school. We drifted apart a little after she got married and began her family - at the same time, she was starting a business with her husband. Just over a year ago, I noticed that their company was hiring. Feeling unchallenged by my call centre job, I thought to myself "it’s who you know!" Thanks to my longtime relationship with my friend, today I have a job I love and new relationships with great co-workers and clients.

Since turning 20, I’ve found that it has been easier to identify what relationships in my life are the most meaningful. I’ve traveled across the country and back and held nearly a dozen different jobs. My friends from high school have spread out across the country, making getting together a rare occasion. But the people who truly care about me are the ones I just can’t seem to get rid of - in the best way possible! They’re the friends who send notes every once in a while just to say hi. The cousins I see only once a year - but when I do see them, it feels like we were never apart. It is said that true friends are hard to find - I also think they’re hard to lose.

When it comes to your relationships with your family members, it might take a long time for you to recognize the true value in them. As is normal when siblings are growing up, my sisters and I fought. A lot. It wasn’t until they began moving away from home for university and for their own twenty-something adventures that I realized just how special they are to me, and how important it is for them to be a part of my life. Like fine wine, relationships only get better with age - I can’t wait for the future!

Thursday marks the continuation of the guest post series on Twenty Something Advice. Today’s guest post is written by Blonde Features, a 23 year old just trying to figure out life. She says she is "trying not to lose my tan, the beach, and my blonde hair in Washington."

Love in your 20’s can be a very confusing thing. My best friend has just gone through an awful break up. At 22, she spent 5 years (all of college) with her boyfriend and the most important advice I feel that I have given her and what I would tell every 20 something is: The most important thing you can do for yourself is to spend time learning about who you are as an independent person and be comfortable being single.

I am a loving person, I love being in a relationships, but after being in one relationship for 3 years and another for 2 years I made it a point to be on my own. I found it extremely challenging and lonely but after spending two years single I learned how important it is to value yourself as an independent adult. This is the time in our lives to ask ourselves, "What do I want out of life? What do I want to accomplish before I die? How do I want the world to look at me? What is important to me?". These are difficult to answer alone and more so when you have someone who is always around. How can you expect to be introspective when you are in a relationship and always thinking about someone else?

I have been in love twice, I have been single and I know that I have met "the ONE." It wasn’t easy but I learned a lot in the process. I met him freshmen year of college. I was only 18. We dated for two years and I struggled in college trying to balance him, while trying to flourish in a new environment where I was on my own for the first time and I couldn’t have both. We broke up and I transferred schools, needing space to grow. And I did grow. While I missed him every day of the next two years when we were apart, I did a lot of growing up. I was single, I met new people, I met new friends, I learned about being lonely, being alone, and finally being happy and being alone. I kept him in a corner of my mind every day but not having him to lean on, caused me to venture out, do more things, pursue the things I love. I don’t believe it is impossible to accomplish these things when you are in a relationship, but I believe for me, I needed to spend that time alone, to force myself to get out there because I couldn’t just stay home and watch a movie alone on a Friday night and not feel lonely. I had to go to that party where that nice girl from my class had invited me to, I took up surfing so I didn’t spend Saturday afternoons always studying, I got a job and really pursued my interests of event planning. Those are the most important things I learned being single and I would never take any of that back.

My story ends happily every after. At the end of senior year in college, after two years of complete silence between "The One" and I, I finally cracked the ice. I was ready for him and for what he meant to me and my life. I sent him a note for his birthday, just a token that even after 2 years I was still thinking of him. He responded with the love letter I always hoped would be there when I was ready. The one where he told me he missed me everyday, his life was not complete without me, and that I was his "One." We have been back together for 2 years since that heart-stopping moment. But I know things would never have worked if I had let my love swallow my independence and that is what I would hope for every 20 year old. Be Independent, Take "Me" time now before "Family" time takes over later in life. Learn to Make Yourself Smile Before You Try to Make Someone Else Smile!

Hope that helps!! I still struggle with being 20something everyday, but I hope what I learned will help someone else! Good Luck!

-Blonde Features

I love having this series being primarily guest posts because I love getting other 20somethings views on life, life and the whole crazy thing. Though I did my single, independent time in a different order than blonde features I completely agree with her. I very much believe life in your twenties is about figuring out what it is you really want for your future. I would like to add one thing it is important also to keep your independence even when you are in a relationship. This seems pretty obvious but I have seen several women, especially young women, lose themselves by trying to change themselves for their guy.

What do you guys think?

Be sure to check out Blonde Features blog.

If you’d like to contribute to the advice series you can contact me on 20something Bloggers.

Previous Twenty Something Advice:

• Twenty Something Advice: Make your goals measurable
• Twenty Something Advice: Is it time for a job change?
• Twenty Something Advice: Circle of Friends
• Twenty Something Advice: Power of Music
• Twenty Something Advice: Educate Yourself on Politics
• Twenty Something Struggle: Why Can’t I Be Happy?
• Twenty Something Advice: Don’t plan your life based on what other people expect

Since this blog is more of an informative type blog, than a personal blog, you may not have noticed that I have been avoiding a topic. I am still avoiding my insight into the topic but I figure at least for now I can tell you that my blogging buddy Zandria did a great job summing up the topic which I have been avoiding. Do you stay or do you go?

I chose GO! Three years, my heart, my soul and a gorgeous diamond ring all over. As Meredith would say "It’s over … so over."