After working 11 hours today I decided to spend my down time browsing the blogosphere and found a hilarious post through my blogging buddy Michelle – 8 ways to drive a graphic designer mad. {Update/Editor’s Note: Sadly Groy abandoned his domain so that link no longer works.

Here are Groy’s 8 Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad.

{read the full, old post via waybackmachine}

1. Microsoft Office: When you have to send a graphic designer a document, make sure it’s made with a program from Microsoft Office. PC version if possible.
2. Fonts
   If the graphic designer chooses Helvetica for a font, ask for Arial. If he chooses Arial, ask for Comic Sans. If he chooses Comic Sans, he’s already half-insane, so your job’s half done.
3. More is better
   Let’s say you want a newsletter designed. Graphic designers will always try to leave white space everywhere. Large margins, the leading and kerning of text, etc. They will tell you that they do this because it’s easier to read, and leads to a more clean, professional look. But do not believe those lies. The reason they do this is to make the document bigger, with more pages, so that it costs you more at the print shop. Why do they do it? Because graphic designers hate you.
4. Logos
   If you have to send a graphic designer a logo for a particular project, let’s say of a sponsor or partner, be sure to have it really really small and in a low-res gif or jpeg format. Again, bonus points if you insert it in a Word document before sending it. 
5. Chosing your words
   When describing what you want in a design, make sure to use terms that don’t really mean anything. Terms like “jazz it up a bit” or “can you make it more webbish?”. “I would like the design to be beautiful” or “I prefer nice graphics, graphics that, you know, when you look at them you go: Those are nice graphics.” are other options. Don’t feel bad about it, you’ve got the right. In fact, it’s your duty because we all know that on fullmoons, graphic designers shapeshift into werewolves.
6. Colors
   The best way for you to pick colors (because you don’t want to let the graphic designer choose) is to write random colors on pieces of paper, put them in a hat and choose. The graphic designer will suggest to stay with 2-3 main colors at the most, but no. Choose as many as you like, and make sure to do the hat thing in front of him. While doing it, sing a very annoying song.
7. Deadlines
   When it’s your turn to approve the design, take your time. There is no rush. Take two days. Take six. Just as long as when the deadline of the project approaches, you get back to the designer with more corrections and changes that he has time to make. After all, graphic designers are responsible for the 911 attacks.
8. Finish him
   After you’ve applied this list on your victim, it is part of human nature (although some would argue weather they’re human or not) to get a bit insecure. As he realises that he just can’t satisfy your needs, the graphic designer will most likely abandon all hopes of winning an argument and will just do whatever you tell him to do, without question. You want that in purple? Purple it is. Six different fonts? Sure!

This couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’m going to add a #9 in there Groy –

#9 Text – Do everything possible to make sure that the designer has to key in all of the text for your project. You can accomplish this by sending over hand written copy or better yet FAX over your typed text. The fax will give the designer the privilege of retyping your text knowing that somewhere someone already typed all of this up. If the designer asks for digital files claim ignorance on sending attachments.