GenPink

dat·ing
–verb
1. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
2. To go on dates.

Somehow at the age of 26 the majority of my friends are married or are in long term relationships. This made it a little difficult to think of someone who could write about dating in your 20s. I myself am certainly not an expert on this topic (in fact I’m kind of afraid of this topic). I sent out a few emails asking for who would best discuss this topic. I was pointed to Martini of Single + Cats = Sad. I actually had never read her blog before but my friend has brought her up in discussions many times. Sidenote: does it show how much our generation is impacted by blogs that when my friends and I get together “in real life” we discuss random blogs that we’ve read

So without further adu, I give you D is for Dating.

This guest post was written by Martini, a 27 year old single blogger who says “blogging is cheaper than a therapist”.

Oh my god, what does dating in your 20s mean? Just thinking about that question exhausts my brain.

I’m a 27-year-old single girl, and in order to cope with my last nine months of singledom, I think I’ve put a few vineyard owners’ children through college, if that’s any indication of my coping technique.

First off, almost everyone’s experienced the joyus hell that is dating in your 20s, unless of course you were that chick in my study hall that got married two days after high school. If so, I mean, god bless. How’s that working out for you?

But for the rest of us who have banned the word “settling” from our vocabularies, the search for that person that will perfectly compliment all of our neuroses for the rest of our life is ongoing. Welcome to dating. It’s not like it was in high school. Our standards have risen beyond “he’s cute” and “his dad’s car is sweet.”

As I tell my married friends, who seem to garner gleeful enjoyment from stories of crazies I meet as a single girl, it’s not being single that’s hard. Being single is great. I love being single. You don’t have to conceal your latest shoe purchases when you get home, your apartment is devoid of Star Wars figurines, and you’re always allowed to flirt.

Ah, yes, being single is fun. It’s dating that can literally drive you to the brink of insanity, mumbling to yourself at a bus stop about bees and spinning in circles like a hyper Chihuahua every time the phone rings.

I was in back-to-back committed relationships (I do heart monogamy) from age 19 until 26. So last year, when my 3 ½ year relationship fell apart, I found myself single for the first time since high school. Really, really single.

And since then, I’ve dated everything from a gay mormon virgin to a B-list celebrity with serious bi-polar issues. Trust me, it’s just as crazy as it sounds.

So what have I learned? I’ve learned that, as I type this three glasses of pinot in (and keep in mind it’s a Wednesday), and as a girl, no matter how many bad dates you have, it’s your girlfriends that matter most. The saying “hoes before bros” never made more sense to me.

You need your girls not just for moral support, but for a rational opinion when you’re faced with the decision on whether or not to date someone. Are they a douche? Your girlfriends will tell you straight up.

Regardless, dating is a hard. Don’t feel bad if you’re single and feel close to giving up on the whole thing. Just keep going because, let’s be honest, you don’t want to wind up 63 years old and surrounded by cats.

Be confident in yourself. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Play the game. Hold out for what you deserve. Let him come to you. And convince yourself you’re worth it.

And don’t be afraid to crack open a bottle of wine (or two) when things get too tough, consider lesbianiasm, lie to your parents about a fake boyfriend to get them off your back, sleep with the wrong person (or two) just for kicks and dress way sexier than you think you should sober.

The main lesson you should learn is that being single is always better than being stuck in a relationship with the wrong person.

Dating in your 20s should be fun. Because dating in your 30s is going to be way more serious. So enjoy this. Play with the boys. Make them beg for it. And always remember, everyone who’s married envies you. So enjoy that fact.

I can’t say that I agree that all of my married friends envy the crazy single life but I do know that they are quite entertained by the stories us single girls come up with.