GenPink

We’ve all heard it, probably from our mothers… “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” This statement seems to be haunting me lately. I’ve been analyzing whether or not this statement is true for those of us who blog, or speak in public, or write books.

So here’s my question — if you have a public voice (in any platform) do you live by the rules of if you can’t say something nice OR do you owe it to the public, your audience, someone who could be effected by your comments, to speak the truth? Maybe the answer depends on the situation.

Let’s try a few out to see if you come up with a different answer:
What if you read a book you don’t like? Do you still write a public review which you were planning on doing? What if that book was given to you for free with the intention of reviewing it?
What if you don’t like your job?
What if you like your job but really have an issue with a coworker?
What if that person is your boss? Is the answer different if it’s a previous employer?
What if you are getting married and you don’t like your mother in law to be?
What if your roommate drives you crazy?
How about one of your close friends?
Does this answer change if you know this person does not read your blog?
What about a restaurant? What if you normally like it and have a bad experience?
What about a movie or an actor?
What if a friend has an ill behaved child?
What if someone has a drinking problem? Does you opinion change if that person has children?

Are there different answers depending on the impact of the thing you have an issue with?
Maybe you’d be okay writing a bad review about a restaurant online but won’t write something about people.
Or iPhone apps you dislike are okay to publicize but you chalk-up your dislike for a restaurant as personal taste and don’t publicize this.
Or it’s okay to air your grievances with your soon to be mother in law but not your boss because that could cost you your job (*and perhaps you justify this by saying the MIL doesn’t like you either).

So there are my questions, what are your answers?

• ate something you cooked yourself
• bought something you’ve been wanting for a while
• called someone just to say hi
• discovered something new about yourself
• entertained people in your home
• felt what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes
• gave back
• heard a child laugh
• indulged
• just listened to the sounds of silence
• kissed ’til your lips hurt
• loved someone so much it hurt
• mentored someone
• noticed beauty in the moment
• opened happy snail mail
• put your butt on the line for something important
• questioned the norm
• read a magazine cover to cover
• sang a song at the top of your lungs
• thanked someone
• unintentionally inspired someone
• volunteered for a cause that matters to you
• wrote your name in wet cement
• xamined the bigger picture
• yearned for things to be different
• zealously finished something you started

I learned a new word today: demi-task

Jody Gilbert at TechRepublic asks, "Do you listen 100 percent of the time or are you usually mentally engaged in several things at once?".

In her article 10 great ideas from five great bosses Jody states:

Top dogs know that nobody can multitask effectively over the long haul. They’ve figured out how to focus with laser-like precision. And their team members come to know that their boss is really hot and can’t be bluffed. This makes the team better at being clear and precise in their communications to you, and it saves both time and energy for everyone.

I know I am guilty of multi-tasking on many occasions. What works for me is to set time limits – for one hour I will work on this project, without checking emails, and without stopping until the hour is up. Generally what happens for me is, 15 minutes into working on something I remember I was supposed to email someone back or ask someone else about a different project. I use the beginning and the end of the day to think about and handle all of those little reminders. For a great read on the side-effects of multitasking I recommend New York Times article, Slow Down, Brave Multitasker, and Don’t Read This in Traffic. Time magazine also published an article in 2006 (ages ago according to internet time) stating that we are The Multitasking Generation.

Are you a demi-tasker? or a multi-tasker? Do you think multitasking is a generational trait?

Update: This post is also featured on Brazen Careerist, there are some great contributions in the comments.

One of the things that I love about writing, and reading other people’s writing, is that sometimes all that it takes is one sentence or even one word to hit a spark right to the heart – as if this writer was reading your mind. That happened to me tonight …

It’s a Tuesday evening, I had plans after work (but I kind of got blown off by a really hot guy), I ended up at home on the couch – just me and my trusted feedly (blogs). I have this folder of fellow brazen bloggers in my reader, a folder filled with special people (very few make the cut). Ironically this is my favorite group of blogs to catch up on, but some how it’s also the group I get behind on most quickly.

This occurs for two reasons -
1) if I only have a few minutes to sit down and read, I usually pick something that won’t require much time (ie swiss miss).
2) the people who "make" this folder are quite brilliant (if I do say so myself) and they tend to write long/thought provoking posts.

I digress … so I was reading Taking a Year To Be by the brilliant, and lovely, Holly Hoffman when one particular sentence jumped out at me.

Who am I if not a ladder-climbing employee, a twenty-something entrepreneur, a moonlighting freelancer, The Person in Town Who Knows About That, a woman on the make?

I had the pleasure of staying in a hotel room and spending 5 days at SXSW (*tear) with miss Holly. During our random conversations and discussions about the panels I discovered that Holly and I have a thing or two, or five, in common. So, it shouldn’t surprise me that in this very post Holly was transcribing the thoughts that have been rolling around in my brain for the past few months.

Who am I if not …

• a gen y blogger
• that graphic design girl
• that girl who spoke at that conference
• that girl who twitters at 3 am
• that girl who wears pink
• that who used to date that guy
• that girl who loves to sing
• that girl who designed that one website

I’ve recently (June 1) started a new job and I’ve been wanting to write about the fact that having a whole new job title has sent me into a bit of an identity crisis. But, I didn’t know where to start or even have the words, but now I do "who am I if not …" my job title.

Many people experience their twenties of a time of discovering and recreating just exactly who they are – for some people it’s fun and for others it’s scary. I choose to be excited by the fact that I can change the answer to the question "who am I" ever 5 minutes if I want.

I was reading a blog post (A New Generation Gap) in which Mike Neiss, a baby boomer, discusses his perspective of how the boomer generation "failed to build a solid foundation for those who will follow us. We have made a mess. We are not the victims of changing economic conditions, we created them." He goes on to say "the next generation may be the first in a long time (ever?) that are not better off than their parents. I think we baby boomers own that."

This is an interesting concept and question. Are we, the children of the boomers, worse off than our parents? Is Gen Y going to be remembered as the first generation that had it harder than our parents did?

I think NOT! In fact I think quite the opposite. I think we are at an advantage:

• We want it all and we are willing to do whatever it takes, including not sleep. When we are passionate about something we are full steam ahead and that’s really the only attitude that’s going to work right now. In your twenties you can get away with not sleeping.
• We aren’t worried. Nisha Chittal sums it up greatly, those that have been successful "are the ones who stopped worrying about that which they can’t change, and started taking action to change what they do have control over."
• We are willing to make the most out of a less-than-ideal situation, take ownership of our role in our company and excel just for the sake of learning. Since we haven’t experienced 20 years of life being a different way we just make the most of what we have.
• This is the perfect opportunity and time for innovation and new thinkers. The way I see it, whether our current economic state is all on the boomers or not, something hasn’t been working. And when something isn’t working, really the only option is to change it. Who better to make these changes and redirections than a fresh set of eyes.
• We are at a time in our careers that we are hitting the ground running and we are eager to take on the world. My mom said to me the other day "I really don’t have the motivation to set the world on fire anymore I did that in my 20s".
• Our world is smaller. Because of our experience with technology and growing up on the web our view of this big vast world isn’t as overwhelming. I can just as easily contact an developer in Australia as I can my dad 20 miles away. In a matter of moments I can take an opinion poll on most any topic and provide instant feedback to anyone who wants to know. I personally have used this connectivity several times to create direction on a project and build relationships that turn into business.
• What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. I think if there is ever going to be a hard time in a career cycle I’d rather it be at the beginning – it creates tenacity and resilience. I see jumping into the deep-end of the pool and trying to figure out how to handle it, as a challenge and much less stressful than spending 30 years in the shallow end and then being shoved to the deep-end.
• We are being taught valuable lessons about money and overcoming circumstance at a much younger age. I know for me, because of the current uncertainty, I’m very conscious of where and what I spend my money on. I read books like I Will Teach You To Be Rich instead of romance novels and celebrity gossip magazines. I’d rather drink my $1 lattes from Big Lots and donate what I would have spent at Starbucks to a much bigger cause.
• We use every opportunity to learn. What I think is great about Gen Y is that we can use any situation as a chance to learn and grow. Ryan Paugh wrote a post about how the bar scene teaches us to do social media the right way. While others may be using the bar as an escape from the stress of work Ryan, like many Gen Yers, is a creative thinker and is always on the lookout for an opportunity to make his business better.
• We are willing to help each other out. I am blessed to have an awesome network of like minded people always willing to help each other out. I think Gen Y never outgrew the sandbox mentality. I find myself sending my friends links that would help them in their business or search for a job and they do the same in return. We send referrals back and forth and whatever else we can think of to make a difference in each other’s lives.

An additional piece that found interesting in Neiss’ post is his ending thought "I believe that our parents unwittingly made us soft. We had our needs and wants indulged by parents driven to make sure we had more than they had had as children. We can’t leave a great legacy without honest-to-goodness hard work." I find it ironic how similar this sounds to what is being said about Gen Y and not being willing to put in the work.

Call my an optimist or call me a naive but those are my two cents and for now that’s the attitude I’m stickin’ with. I’m proud to stand in excitement for what’s next instead of fear of the future!